The softest moments, the value of grief, and even Jesus wept

Sometimes you get those rare moments where you experience the wholeness of life, and you're so grateful for it. A few Friday evenings ago, one of those moments was breathed out into the universe at a birthday party in a small downtown on a summer evening. The heat decreased as the evening wore on, there were summer dresses and outfits, sparkly jewelry, summer foods, a pink blush beverage, a pretty setting at a winery, and good laughs.

At the end of the party, three of us stood outside for a few minutes longer, where I enjoyed the sun going down and feeling the temperature drop while a steady breeze came and went. The ladies I was with are lovely and generous and open hearted and accepting. It made their sparkle even brighter that night, emanating from the inside out. 

It was genuinely nice and oh, so very gentle, a soft moment that flowed across time, just for us. For the briefest second, I realized that I could be anywhere in the world, experiencing that moment. I have found that the heart has to be open to experiences or we will never develop the ability to recognize them as they come along and grab on for the ride. We have to live with intention, or we'll miss those moments. And that is a hard thing to do - live a life of intention.

Moments can be beautiful, but there's a melancholy in memories steeped in nostalgia. I think, in part, it's because we subconsciously grieve the loss of the tangible moment. The memory can live a thousand times, but the real thing? That's only once. 

There is the strangest and strongest value in grief. We are often taught to "power through" or to "just keep going" when grief shows up. Then when grief becomes too much and we give into it, we are riddled with guilt for what is often misinterpreted as wallowing, an indulgence in our emotions. In trying hard to depend on ourselves to pull through, we forget that God gave us this emotion of grief because HE knows that it has value. We forget that God's son, Jesus, wept.

I have seasonal rituals. They are the tangibles that I can recreate each month of each year, for now, at least. I don't have to rely on the memories of them, not yet. The day will come, though, when life will change - with or without my blessing - and it will be up to me to both love and mourn the memories properly, or to bury them so deeply, that I will never have to feel the pain alongside the pleasure of times passed so dearly loved, now frozen.

When you grieve, it's okay. We are made to grieve. The oddity of a beautiful memory woven into that grief can be jarring. I think that sometimes, it makes the grief even deeper, while other times, it helps pull us out of our grief just a little bit more. Just don't forget the other part - the looking forward. In the hard moments, it can feel impossible to find the looking forward. I've lost track of it on more than one occasion, stuck in a hard spot, feeling outnumbered by demons and dragons. 

The trick to the looking forward is that it's often up to us to create it, that new path beyond the old battered trail we left behind. Then, life gets funny and odd and mixed up, and sometimes, it creates the looking forward for us. I never hedge my bets on that, though, instead choosing to try to map out my next way forward. The life that will happen while I make my plan is part of the looking forward, I just don't know it yet.

I'm in that place right now, a different path coming up sooner than later. There's plenty of the old that is beautiful, but there is more ahead if I'm open to it. I hope that wherever you are and whatever your path, you find your looking forward while remembering the beautiful yesterdays. Life is rich and full and hard and sorrowful and everything else in between. Be kind to yourself. Lean into the moments, they'll be gone soon enough.

 

Cinnamon chip bagel, cantaloupe, and summer melancholy

UPDATE: shortly after this was posted, the heavens opened and it’s been raining for a couple hours. Thank you, God.

It's been unusually hot these days. It's seriously awful. If we don't get a break in heat and a decent amount of rain soon, the yard and gardens will think it's that hot, end-of-summer time of year and go dormant. We've yet to get a ripe tomato, and they're not very large because of lack of rain. How do people who live in the desert stand it? I have to go outside, I feel like my spirit would be completely crushed if I had to be indoors the bigger part of a year due to heat. I can't imagine not feeling the earth under my feet daily, or just going outside whenever I want, any time of the day and not perish of heat stroke. My hat is off to you. I couldn't do it. I barely function now, as it is, when I step outside. Can you say CRABBY?

I was craving ice cold cantaloupe and a Panera cinnamon chip bagel, so off we went yesterday to a bigger town with a Panera. The cantaloupe is from Aldi, cheap and really good. It was on the verge of being very ripe. I washed the outside of the cantaloupe with diluted antibacterial soap, sliced and diced it, and put it in the fridge. It's like ice cold candy this morning, it's so sweet. It's the best one I've had in a while. I only ate half the bagel. They are enormous, and I knew I'd want a second helping of cantaloupe. Lots of butter on that bagel; you can't see it, but it's there! Toasted and chewy and cinnamony . . . mmmmmm. 

The gardens. A girl could cry. We need rain, and crying doesn't make it rain, but it might make me feel better. We did have a little storm roll through yesterday, and we got more rain than a few other friends in the county, but we need more. There are chances of rain this afternoon and this evening and overnight, so maybe we'll get some more liquid sunshine. In the meantime, I have some pictures. Things do look a bit parched, but that's life in a dry summer.

First up, here are the sunflower and zinnia patches. They're holding their own between the small smatterings of rain here and there and some watering every now and then to try to give them a chance. They've grown immensely, so I have high hopes for these turning out. Prayers that they do, it'll break my heart to not have flowers.

This is rooster comb! This is the first year growing these. The seeds were an exchange! I have a huge picture on my office wall, and it's one that I took of our zinnia and sunflower patch last year. A gentleman I worked with asked me about the flowers, and I offered to share some of our seeds with him. In return, he shared some of his rooster comb seeds. Now, get this: my seeds were purchased online through a reputable seed company. His seeds were family heirloom seeds that he harvests and re-plants yearly. I think his seeds are a bit more impressive .  . . . I'm excited to see how these turn out. 

 

This is pineapple sage! See those tubular flowers? Hummingbirds love those. The flowers will bloom through fall. This is a very inexpensive item to grow for the environment and can be maintained in a large pot, as well, although with a pot, you have to keep watering. This plant is in the ground. Although you cannot tell from the picture, it's quite large now. They grow quickly and smell wonderful.

Lantana! What can I say? I love lantana. The picture doesn't do it justice. These are actually scarlet red, but it was a very hazy day, and they appear to be a dark pink. They're not. I'll try to get a better picture. Our butterly/monarch population love lantana. I have two of these in the herb bed. They'll help round out the space of the herb bed and give it some color while contributing to the pollinator species cause.

This is just a fun picture of our grapes. I love how, no matter what angle you take a picture of a loaded grape vine, it's always beautiful. Hazy day? No problem. Gonna be a gorgeous picture. When you see a beautiful picture taken by a known photographer, the credit always goes to the individual who captured the picture. Me? The author of any decent picture that I take is 100 percent God's creation. I was just blessed to snap it.

That's just about it. A word about the next few weeks, though. The county fair is less than a month away. Then, August will hopefully be full of fresh tomatoes and lots of time outside in the shade. It's a return to school for kiddos, too. The melancholy of September will be upon us before we know it, along with Labor Day, the last hurrah of summer. September's the month when ice tea glasses sweat the most, flies move more slowly - so slowly that you can, in fact, hear their humming - and time drags until you realize it's Autumn, at which point we will all cry "Where did summer go?!" 

I both love and dread September. It's the beginning of the countdown to the end of the flowers, ripe tomatoes get scarcer, and the wind begins to feel different. The light shifts noticeably, and the realization of shorter days is a bit of a shock. But it's also a time when the monarchs and butterflies are plenteous. They put on a show of epic proportions, flitting about, telling a story of "busy, busy, busy." 

I'm not a fan of the holiday season. It's too much for me, and I feel overwhelmed and lost by it. I think it's probably not at all what it should be, but people don't like change, even if that change were to improve their lives. September is that last month before the bombardment of the holidays begins. Savor and love every minute of this summer season. We are already nearly a whole week into it already; it won't last, seasons never do. I learn to live in the moment a bit more every day. 

Love to you on this 26th day of June 2022. I hope you get a chance to feel the earth, catch a breeze, smell a tomato plant, and see some pollinators. It really is the best way to live.

Now we're cookin' with gas (not really, we're all electric)

The first fry-up of the season has been done! Zucchini, yellow squash, a cast iron skillet, lots of butter, salt, pepper, and a large dusting of parmesan did the trick just right. It. Was. Good! As we all know with these particular vegetables, they'll roll in on the vine faster than they can be eaten. They taste like summer, and it's wonderful.

The heat wave - what can I say? It's almost everywhere, we're all miserable and a bit snappy from it. If you can't bear it alongside your fellow mankind, then keep to yourself as much as possible until it runs its course. Next week looks brutal, too. We are being careful with our electric usage, trying to do our bit to help out, particularly during the highest head of the day. Thermostats at 75 for several hours during the day, blinds pulled, curtains closed, no appliances running. If any laundry is absolutely necessary, it is only done during the very early morning hours. 

The weekend brings us us a bit of a reprieve, with 50s in the mornings. The washer will be going steadily, and clothes, towels and bedding galore will be line-dried in the warmest part of the day rather than in the dryer. Then, we'll wait out the next week and hope and pray that the heat breaks. We need rain, too. I think most places need rain right now.

The picture below sums up the heat wave beautifully. I refer to it as "hazy plush," because heat in the air tends to distort images a bit. The yard and trees are a lovely green at the moment, but without rain, that tide will turn. Brown will become the color of the season if we don't get some liquid sunshine soon. I feel terribly sorry for anyone who has planned an outdoor wedding this summer. They're gonna roast on their special day!

Did you see the pink full moon on the 14th? It was beautiful. If you missed it, that's okay, because the funny thing about time is that, eventually, another full moon rolls around. We are over halfway through June, it's boiling, we need rain, and time has sprouted wings and taken off. That's okay, maybe it'll head us away from this heatwave sooner than later! Love to you on this (very hot) 16th day of June 2022. May we all find a cool spot to refresh us and to help us stay composed.

Drive-thru drama, the fliers, first veg and flower patches

First up, our local Sonic recently had some drama with the arrest of someone who threw a mint at the drive-thru into someone's car, hitting them on the head. No injuries reported, the mint thrower and the mint recipient knew each other, but the contact was unwanted by the mint recipient, and, therefore, an arrest followed. Okay. That's that shared. I hope the poor mint involved doesn't get in trouble. Also, any unsweet tea at Sonic with any flavor shot is to die for. I mean, seriously. Good, good stuff.

Our fliers are coming out in full force, healthy and beautiful and ready to entertain us for the next few months! Look at this beauty on one of our butterfly bushes! Isn't it stunning?! 

The garden is starting to really come in, and our pollinators have returned to help us turn lots of things into food. Case in point, the yellow squash and the zucchini pictured below came from the garden yesterday. These plants form gorgeous huge yellow blooms that our pollinators use to help  us get these garden goodies. Without pollination, those flowers would simply fall off and yield zilch. 

So many people disregard our pollinators. Please don't be one of those. Plant something for them, anything. If you have pets, obviously, research what you plant, not everything is safe for domesticated pets (dogs, cats, horses, chickens, etc). But you can almost always find something you can do for pollinators, whether it's in a pot or a small patch of earth or a big garden. But do something. If we don't help them, they cannot help us. And for the love of all that is holy, don't kill them with pesticides in your garden! Deal with the imperfect fruit or veg instead. They taste just as good, and they're way better for you without pesticides. I'm no tree hugger, but I'm not an idiot, either. The earth should be handled with the proper amount of respect and care. If we don't do that, then we don't deserve earth. 

The zinnias and sunflowers have gone wild! We do need some rain as their future performance will begin hinging on our water supply. Praying for some liquid sunshine soon, I wouldn't mind a good, old-fashioned summer thunderstorm followed by a steady rain for a few hours, as long as the storm doesn't turn violent, obviously. But look at this! Beautiful! Row after row after row of zinnias and sunflowers. They are not mixed in, rather the patches are beside each other. We'll get a solid patch of cutting gold sunflowers living next door to a multi-color patch of California giant zinnias. I cannot wait to see these in full force.

Baby Iris is growing! She's over two pounds now and expressive and interactive with humans in her behavior. She has the energy of ten kittens, but when she sleeps, she sleeps well for several hours at a time, so that's a relief. Right now, she's simultaneously killing a toy mousie and chasing the border collie. She's a multi-tasker.

Heading off to fry some zucchini and squash. I'm going to thinly slice them and throw some butter in the cast-iron skillet and salt and pepper them, turning them until they're gold on both sides. I like jazzed up squash with herbs, etc., but the first fry-up should be one where the star of the show is the full taste of the first garden vegetables of the season. As the veg gets more prolific, casseroles and other oven bakes will definitely come into play. 

Today looks beautiful, low 80s with very low humidity. No complaints here, that's a very good growing day. Hopefully, though, some rain is in our near future. Love to you on this 11th day in the month of June 2022. The calendar pages are going so fast, I can feel the breeze from it!

Movie list, county fair dilemma, and maple French toast bagels

Welcome to the month of June. I'm only seven days late acknowledging it! The garden has been in for a few weeks, thanks to my dad, and I've yet to post pictures. I need to start that this weekend so that I can have a record of this year's successes and compare them to past years - when did things bloom, when did the first zinnia pop open, when did the first tomato ripen. You get the idea. Believe me when I say that it really does vary quite a lot season to season.

How did it get to be the middle of the year already? This is the first time in years that I can recall that my summer scary movie list is not yet even compiled. In fact, it's only raced through my brain a couple of times since May. That's so unlike me! I've got to pull something together this weekend. June weather is generally still fairly pleasant, but by the time July and August get here and the heat sets in, it will be that "stay inside or you'll melt" time of year. The movie list becomes the activity of choice.

The Fourth of July will be here soon, and with that same month comes our local fair. Every year since 2020, it's been a quandary: do we go, or do we avoid crowds for one more year? In 2020, if I recall correctly, I did not have to end up deciding. They canceled the fair. We were in full-on pandemic by then. We are not in full-blown pandemic around here at the moment, but cases are definitely on the rise and hospital beds are getting Covid occupants again. 

It's hard to know what to do. We'll watch the numbers and make our decision accordingly. There are a handful of people I know who went to our local Iris Festival last month and tested positive for Covid shortly thereafter. While they are not 100 percent sure that's where they picked it up, as they pointed out, that was the only change in a routine they've kept for over two years and never had Covid up until then. So who knows? We'll see what it looks like and take it from there.

This morning's breakfast is a maple French toast bagel topped with real butter. Have to include the ever-present strong coffee, flavored with sweet Italian cream. It's so good, this introduction to the coming season of Autumn. I never tire of maple anything. It's that comfort food flavor that never gets old. Funny how some flavors taste like every stage of life. Orange and grape Nehis? That's my childhood. Dark chocolate covered orange citrus peel? That was a teenage years discovery. Warm, sweet, strong coffee? That's my late teens and early 20s. I could summon a list of food memories that goes on for days with threads of flavors that all my life stages have in common. Maple is one of those  all life stages flavors.

Then there's Iris. The ultimate foster fail, she was a very tiny baby who was too young to go to the humane society just yet. She needed to get well (had a tiny cold) and to grow a bit more. Yours truly volunteered to foster her. The rest is history. Lord help me, I stink at fostering anything. But here she is, this precious baby, who has taken over the border collie. She has claimed Lacey as her own, and they are inseparable, especially during the morning hours when they play for what feels like a million hours on end. Iris is adorable, one of the cutest babies I've ever seen, but Iris is also a real pistol. She has the energy of a thousand cats, and pretty much does what she wants. She is incredibly sweet, though. As she gets older, she'll be a beautiful cat with a wonderful personality. In the meantime, the word "exhausted" comes to mind. 

We have apples again this year! I am so glad to see them. Last year, we had a very late hard freeze for three nights in a row. It killed every fruit bud on every tree and we got zero fruits last year. This year, we are loaded up. We did have a later hard freeze again, but it was only one night this time around. Things survived it a bit better. Garden items that should be ready to eat for the first time by the end of this week include zucchini and yellow squash. How time flies! 

Storms roll in today and tomorrow. Silver lining is that we won't have to water the garden and potted plants, but I do miss the sun when it hides for a couple of days. It is what it is, and how can you let the weather get you down when you're fully stocked on Dukes mayo and the garden is starting to produce?! 

Blessings to you on this seventh day of June 2022. Now excuse me while I go chase summer before it gets away from me. I have a scary movie list to compile and a few day trips to plan with my sweetheart!

Nimrod, the stars, and the light

Edward Elgar - Enigma Variations - Nimrod | Leonard Bernstein

It is stunning this morning. Seventy degrees with a breeze you couldn't possibly buy, not with all the money in the world. But, no, it's there, suddenly, for our enjoyment, a deep, soft pleasure that rolls over your skin and touches you as if Elgar's Nimrod spilled over your aura and made you weep. This is my weather with its sheer pleasure of nearly-bare skin under starry dark skies, standing alongside a border collie who raises its nose to smell everything ever created. Windows are open, so I can hear the kitten, Iris, in the house roaming around, making racing noises. It's easy to see the silhouette of her practicing jumps in the air as she learns to become a lioness. 

My BC picks up a million scents, but my sense of smell zones in on the honeysuckle. It's one of my top favorite scents, but I prefer it as a tribute on the wind. Any other way, and it loses its feel of nostalgia, the roadmap to all the feelings that wash over us as sensory experience gives way to back-in-time travel. I'm in the 1970s if just for a moment, summer in Missouri. The peonies are done for the season, but there is honeysuckle. The smell stays with me for life, soft and poignant, not really dulling with time.

Some mornings, our hearts are full. Sometimes they are sad; sometimes lonely. Other times, we're thrilled to be alive; then the hard days return, and we question everything. That's okay, too. We start out life full of a bright and hopeful light in front of us, saying "come on, it's this way!" and off we go. A million side roads later, and we find that the light that once led our way is now just a hair past our shoulders. We know that with the passing of time, the light will ask us to stop glancing at it over our shoulders and instead, turn to follow it down that final path. It needn't be scary, but it is important to smell all the honeysuckle we can while we can.

This morning is a true and beautiful gift for me. If it had come wrapped in a 14-karat gold ribbon, I wouldn't have been surprised. Never take beauty for granted, for if we ever do, we'll cease to recognize it in all its glory. Light and love to you, always.

Early morning has its very own composition, the best song for sure

For the first time in ages, we have that early morning of 66 degrees complete with the balmiest of breezes, stars, moon, and an ecstatic, howling border collie loving the feel of the earth down to her bones. I am feeling it with her, and it creates a stronger-than-ever bond to my perfect, lovely, loyal creature. Every room in the house has open windows. It's 3:30 a.m., and a good breeze means that I can smell our giant lilac bushes and the honeysuckle that has taken over part of the back of our property. I'm waiting for the train whistle, which should be along any minute now.

My big, beautiful felines have gone outside to explore for a little bit, and I can see their gorgeous shapes in their silhouettes created by the lights on our smokehouse. They are perched on the old cistern behind our house, noses in the air. This is it. This is the heaven on earth that makes me long for my eternal heaven. If it's better than this, then my mind cannot wrap around how truly glorious it will be.

If I close my eyes, visions of grape Nehis and orange Fanta and Frosty blue cream soda float around, part of that "early morning, getting closer to summer" composition. I swear, I can smell funnel cakes, too. The warm, early morning song is truly something to experience, unlike any other time of the day and year. I'm not really sure if it's like this everywhere. My heart tells me that the blessing of living in a rural location or perhaps at the beach brings with it this experience of becoming one with the earth. It's not everywhere. I can't imagine not having it. I think my spirit would die without it.

It takes patience to get here. Cold, long springs, unpredictable winters, autumns that feel boiling then are suddenly far too cold,  you get the picture. But the reward is tremendous, and we find that patience pays. This year, we've officially waited for over three years to get cherries on our newest additions to the property - four sour cherry trees. And now, look at what the earth has yielded, impressive beyond comprehension how nature gives to us on a daily basis.

Today looks stunning, minus the threat of some gusty winds and a thunderstorm at some point. I'm hoping we get a gentle thunderstorm but that the gusty winds die out before getting here. As they say, time will tell. Life is a series of losses and gains, with a giant heaping helping of uncertainty thrown into the mix. If you live long enough, you find this out. That's why it's so important to feel the earth, eat the funnel cake, take in the nostalgic flavors of our youth. 

I opted for a biscuit with Dukes mayo, fresh tomato and sweet onion this morning. It felt like flavors that are highly acquainted with a perfect, early morning, so that's what I had, and it was wonderful. It's hard to imagine that Halloween is only six months away. Where did those other six months go? I try to account for them mentally, but it's easier to give that up and just live in the present.

Love to you on this Sunday, the first day of May 2022. I hope you have beautiful weather today and that whatever represents your honeysuckle and lilac blows your way and brings you deep pleasure, right down to your core. 

Beans and rice aren't terrible but you do need sour cream

First, let's look at something pretty, 'kay? I am SO excited. The picture is from 2020. Notice the first part of the picture is apples! (I know, lots of spots, but we do not use pesticides, so you have to learn that things won't be perfect and that you WILL have to share with the universe if you choose to not poison your food). 

Last year, the hard freezes at the end of April killed all the blooms on our apple, pear, and cherry trees. I cried, quite literally. I mean, real tears of frustration and disappointment. But this year is different! We are loaded up with blooms! Hurray! The other two sections of the picture are coming soon, as well, fresh beans and tomatoes. I hope to repeat 2020s bounty since the weather has been more cooperative. 

So, inflation sucks. Am I right? I've gone to war with it, it's a quiet and personal fight, but it's a fight nonetheless. When you have rescues and the bills that go with them, you learn that the sacrifice is on the humans to do without and to adjust to situations like extreme inflation. So, we are literally and figuratively back to the "beans and rice" era of our life. That's okay. Add some salt, pepper, and sour cream, and it's delicious. The beans and rice are the literal part. 

Figuratively, it means eyeing what is in my shopping cart and doing some simple math to make sure that I don't go over a budget of $5 dollars a day for food for two people, three meals a day. If you do the math, that's .83 cents per person a day. You could actually go much cheaper, but I have been sticking to this for the most part.

You'd be surprised what you can get for less than $35 a week if you choose a bit differently. I think we get in a food rut and believe that some of the food that we buy is made up of necessities. If you evaluate - TRULY evaluate - what you are buying, you'll probably find that if you change your meal plans a bit, if you're willing to give up meat several times a week (we do not eat pork, chicken, or beef), if you navigate every single price and weight on every item, you can eat incredibly cheaply, even during high inflation. 

We recently ate for four days on slightly less than $20, and that included all meals, not just supper. For two people, that comes out to $1.66 cents a day combined, not each. So the goal is to repeat that as often as possible. Keep in mind that's just food, not the other items that may be needed some weeks such as laundry detergent, paper towels, etc. In the summer, the garden rounds out a lot of those weekly food bills. The big bonus is that my dad is the one who often cooks the garden food, so not only does the garden save us money, it also comes served up already cooked many days! 

Three observations about frugality:

    1. Frugality in and of itself can feel like a full-time job. It's a matter of constantly monitoring expenses not just in your bank account but in every store that you enter (regular store or online store) and every single price. It can be time consuming, but once you get in the habit, it gets easier. 

    2. Frugality should be a way of life, even in the best of times for anyone who is not independently wealthy or, at the least, extremely well off. If you practice frugality all the time, then situations like high inflation are just points in time that will pass with much more ease because you're already used to pinching pennies.

    3. Frugality requires a lack of influence. By that, I simply mean that you cannot allow yourself to be susceptible to consumerism. You cannot allow yourself to envy your neighbor, who buys whatever they want and seems to always be flush with cash. You cannot allow yourself to believe that happiness is dependent on "stuff," so the more stuff you buy, the happier you think you will be. On the flip side, it's important to find support in your frugal efforts. A whole family has to be on board or the person trying to be frugal just comes across as a cheapskate and "wound tight." In some cases, this may be true, but often (and in my case), that person is just fighting to make sure there is money in the bank for emergencies and to sleep better at night.

One final note is that we have numerous rescues. Some months, the medical bills are extremely high. We also try to help out with other rescue expenses to help alleviate some of those costs for the rescue organizations who are footing the larger part of vet and care bills through their non-profit. Believe me when I say that there are months when the money goes out the door quickly if one of our rescues is extremely ill or needs a specialist or a stray comes along unexpectedly, so you have to bear additional expenses that month. This is where the practice of frugality pays off. No matter what your passion - rescue work, travel, sports - frugality can help you maintain some of those passions so that life is not sheer drudgery. 

My goal is to always help ease suffering in the animal kingdom. I'm glad for the "beans and rice" era. It's self-imposed, and let's face it - I round it out with goodies from our local, favorite bakery. I also try to have aging parents over throughout the summer for Sunday lunch a couple of times a month. I'm glad to up the spending on ingredients to spend time with them. We won't have them forever, time is fleeting. I'm not about to give that up.

Wherever you are with this inflation stuff, bear in mind how hard it can be to earn a dollar, then ask yourself how quickly are you sending that dollar out the door? If you can possibly do so, send it to your bank account instead. I'm not naïve. I know that there are people who live paycheck to paycheck with nothing left over, quite literally, even after practicing frugality and living a small and economical life. My heart goes out to them. In the end, sometimes it just becomes a matter of getting through another week. I always suggest that people re-visit their budget to find, quite literally, even just a few dollars they might could save that month. Usually, you can find something to cut.

Love to you on this Friday Eve. At 5 p.m., we can start sort of partying, then tomorrow, we can just jump right on board the "it's the weekend" train! Our weather looks beautiful. Time to play outside, right?! 

I think we are finally squared away, please, Lord . . . .

It's been a while since I've been in this space. We've had the unexpected with a sick baby who had to have multiple trips to the University of Tennessee animal hospital over the course of the past few months. Turns out that she has a rare condition, one they've never come across in their books until now. We are so grateful that it was treatable and that the treatment seems to have worked. Hoping we had our last trip last week and that we are able to manage her issues completely locally now and are squared away with a future plan for any additional issues.

In the meantime, spring finally showed up! I'm back to documenting things again. On our last trip with our baby, we headed over to Baxter Gardens in the Knoxville area and spent over an hour touring a gorgeous, private garden that is open to the public once a year in the month of April. Below is a picture of just one area of this spectacular acreage. As you can see, we had a gorgeous, crisp (in the upper 40s), sunny day. I'm so glad we went! It was peaceful and calming, and it was the place where I received the news via phone call that our baby was not going to need surgery for her condition after all! You can imagine how that endeared the place to me, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, at home, our own azalea bushes have finally begun popping out! We have one area outside one of our bedroom windows where there are several azalea bushes in varying colors of pink. I've done that one purpose. It's on the side of the house with the first light of the day. Those pink variations glow like nobody's business on a sunny morning. So glad I had the foresight to go with the pink color scheme. It's just fantastic! The first picture shows the dark pink azaleas, the second picture shows the light pink azaleas.

Finally, allow me to share our mountain view. I never get tired of it, and pictures do it very little justice. It doesn't help that I'm no photographer, but at least it gives you an idea of my daily visual blessing. It just never grows old. When you see this in person, the mountains appear much closer. Not sure why in pictures they seem so far away, but I can guarantee you it's most likely my lack photography skills.

We have been warm these last couple of days and have spent a lot of time outside. It feels so good, and I'm thrilled to finally start complaining about being too warm instead of complaining about being too cold, ha ha. Soon, the tomato sandwiches with Duke's mayo will be a staple of our environment, and the garden will get fully planted on Mother's Day weekend in two weeks. Hard to believe that it has rolled around already. Time really does fly.

I know that a lot of people are struggling on many levels right now. Things are still somewhat topsy-turvy, but I think part of that is because we are kept stirred up with so much information. The bombardment of news is ridiculous. What a mess we became when 24-hour news arrived on the scene. It's not healthy. Turn off the news, go do something different. Stop letting them get you stirred up, stop listening to the sensationalism.

If you are living your life to the best of your ability, taking care of the acre of life that God gave you, picking and fighting the right battles rather than just lumping and dumping yourself in with everything, then you will find a much sweeter balance. Constant outrage will kill you sooner than later. It truly harms no one but yourself, and the people raged against often just sit back and enjoy that show while you exhaust yourself. 

I learned long ago to stick to my beliefs, vote how God guides me, and not rise to the constant baits set before me. I simply walk away, and it is so freeing. It doesn't allow anyone to impose their opinions and beliefs on me, or to try to persuade my already-decided mind. In addition, turning off all of those ridiculous news channels helps their ratings drop and will, perhaps, one day, force most of them to close up shop. Not likely, but I can at least do my part to try to make that happen. Always, always, always think for yourself.

The sun will be up soon, and I plan to enjoy every minute of today. Full sun, 83 for the high, low humidity - what a doozy of a day! Heading to the local library book sale later with my sweet love, and we may just have to do the old Sonic summer drink. I know summer isn't for four more weeks, but I think it's okay to enjoy an Ocean Water a little bit early!

Love to you on this gorgeous day in upper Northeast Tennessee! Time for a Bojangles biscuit with honey and vegan bacon to start out the day. I truly hope your day and your weather are beautiful!

Negative test, more snow and those warming spices

We've had another round of snow. I knew it was coming, but I was a bit surprised by how much we got. Not that it was a lot, but I thought we were just getting a dusting (to me, that means just the grass has a coating of confectioner's sugar!). But, no, we're up to a couple of inches, and it is still coming down. It has that Charlie Brown Christmas vibe to it, as most snow does to children of the late '60s and '70s. We only go to 27 degrees today, so it's not going to melt any time soon. We have cherry slices in the cabinet, no orange slices, which is a very random statement, I know. 

I've been thinking about orange slices lately. I worked with a lady who, for years, dipped them in milk and dark chocolate at Christmas. She always sliced them in half before dipping because the chocolate-to-orange slice ratio was better (you get more chocolate that way, ha ha). They were so good, but I've never bothered to make them myself. The cherry ones would be good for Valentine's Day, dipped in white or milk or dark chocolate. 

Speaking of orange, here's this morning's tea . . . . . and yes, those are orange slices, not lemon slices. I would have LOVED a thick slice of sourdough bread with butter and orange marmalade to go with this! Alas, we did not have any in the house.

It's the season of warming spices. I love pumpkin season in the Autumn, where we really start adding in those spices. This time of year, however, I like to rev up those spices even more - Thai food (heaven-sent stuff, y'all; I could eat it every day, I think), Constant Comment tea, ginger cake, spice cake - you get the picture. If it has a hint of clove in it, even better. I realize that clove can sometimes be an acquired taste, but I've always loved it, especially with citrus. I cannot remember a time that I didn't love the taste and smell of clove, but if you use too much, it can be off-putting. It's all about using just the right amount. I also love Himalayan and Indian food. There's a Himalayan buffet about an hour away from us. It's calling my name . . . . but it's in the mountains, and you have to go across and up and over mountains to get to it. We'll wait on snow season to pass.

In March, my cravings begin to change and the warming spice cravings turn into cravings for buttercream frosting and all foods in pastel colors. I think we all know that's the promise of spring, teasing our palettes and making us think about chocolate bunnies and pink, purple, yellow and soft blue frosting flowers, lemon anything - you get the picture. Then, we get another snow or another freeze, and I switch back to the spices for a bit. Somewhere along the way, we get that first truly warm day, and we know we are finally heading into garden season.

A little over two weeks ago, I had to take a Covid test. I had one symptom but it was persisting and because I had been around someone five days earlier who had tested positive and was very sick, I went ahead and got a test. It was negative, so grateful for that. My "symptom" went away the next day, and I did not have to miss any work days. Our city school system closed for two days this week due to staff shortage from Covid cases. Here's hoping this wave peaks soon. I predict there will be another wave, just a gut feeling. 

I'm not being negative, but it's not rocket science, either. Getting back to business, staying open because now there's a vaccine, flights, shows, movies, concerts, vacations, etc. - this will all create another wave, especially this coming summer. It is what it is, and I'm certainly not all about shutting down again. We went to a movie recently, and I'd go again. I'm going to a live show on February 20th, and I'm very excited about it! I think we should continue to forge ahead and get through it to see where it lands us in the end - eradicated (most likely not) or simply a new way of life with a vaccine each year much like the flu. 

We are careful when we go out; we wear our masks and keep our distance, but we do continue to try to live as normally as possible. Obviously, if anyone has a condition where Covid could be potentially life-threatening, then they would need to live their lives quite a bit differently during this time. But we are blessed with overall good health, so we are careful and move forward with wisdom and caution.

We have had our first shots, as well as our boosters, a personal choice for sure. We went back and forth for a bit trying to decide, but in the end, because we both work and need to work to take care of our rescues, the vaccine was the right choice for us. I do not judge those who choose otherwise. They have their reasons, and I will respect those reasons and their right to do what is best for them. I love them, and the vaccine has nothing to do with that!

Just one baby picture today. It's my precious, beautiful big boy, Baby Oscar in his thinking box. He has climbed into the paper towel box and is just sitting there, contemplating about his plans for the day. I don't have a crystal ball, but I'm betting his plans include eating, sleeping, playing a little bit, then doing it all over again. I can "sense" these things, ha ha. He is the cutest thing. This little boy is precious to me.

Love to you on this last weekend in January (imagine that!). It's going quickly, and as I pointed out to someone recently, it is just nine months until Halloween. I hear you laughing, but it'll be here before you know it! Local buddies, stay warm and safe. I'm venturing out for a ginger bread cake mix today, that is, if I manage to get out of my flannel pajamas at any point.

The adorable name of Izzy, don't let it fool you

We are under a severe winter weather advisory, and it's blowing a bigtime wind out there. I can see some snow mixed with the spotty rain. Her name is Izzy, and she's is freezing cold! It's not even that the temperature is so low, it's the wind involved that is pushing the "feels like" to "feels like hammered crap cold." It's not like I can stop it, so in anticipation of Izzy's arrival, we had a (very cold and damp) day out yesterday in a bigger city just a few miles away to gather up some goodies!

Lunch was a warming Thai curry. We were not overly hungry, so we split a Panang curry with brown rice, and was it ever good. I could eat Thai food several times a month and never, ever get tired of it. Same with Indian food and Himalayan food. Those spices and flavors never get old. 

Afterwards, we went to Daylight Donuts, just across the road from the Thai restaurant! How handy is that? Now, if you order a filled donut at Daylight Donuts, they don't fill it until you actually choose your filling. That way, you can get it in a Bismark style donut or a round glazed donut or a powdered donut. You get the picture. I got the Bismark (éclair style) donut filled with apple filling. My husband got the Bismark donut with Boston cream. I failed to get a picture of the donuts themselves, but here is the logo from their bag. Cute, eh??! Very old school.

                                            

We also went to The Fresh Market and found a few things to enjoy to make Izzy a bit less tedious. Raspberry pillow cookies, chocolate cherry cordial coffee, smoked mozarella pasta salad, seafood salad, and Kalamata olive bakery loaf of good, chewy bread are on the menu today, along with the new movie "The Tragedy of Macbeth." It is getting phenomenal reviews, and there is nothing like a good (fictional) murder story on a winter day! I studied Shakespeare in college many years ago, and I still love the music of the lyrics, the pre-Star-Wars twist of words that Yoda carried on (not nearly as well as Shakespeare, sorry fanboys, but that's gospel truth).

Take a look at this chalkboard art. It stands out in front of the Fresh Market to greet everyone. Isn't it adorable? The artist's name at the bottom right is simply "Beth '21." Whoever Beth is, she did a great job creating something warming and sweet and good. I love that they're still acknowledging the New Year. Stores are already full of Valentine and Easter stuff, and I guess that's okay (not really). But I love the lingering of the freshness of the New Year. I'm not quite ready to give that up, yet here we are already halfway through January.

                                      

On the way home, I noticed that the snow sky was building. Initially, the snow was supposed to roll in late Sunday afternoon (today). However, the timing has changed, and it's already starting to show up a bit. Rain and snow off and on, then steady snow later this afternoon. I'm going to turn on some winter lullabies to drown out the (very loud at times) wind and pour another cup of chocolate cherry cordial coffee. I happen to have a Peggy Ann's Butterfinger chess bar to go with it, so how fantastic is that?

Local buddies, be safe. The roads are supposed to have that thin ice that is only lovely if your intention is to go car gliding and crash. If you must be out - particularly later in the afternoon- go very slow. I think they salted in anticipation, but not every road in the county will get salted. Be extremely careful, even if you think the road got salted and looks safe.

Love to you on this 16th day of January 2022. I'll be busy praying away ice and heavy, wet snow, the two things that tend to cause power outage issues. May those of us in the path of the storm stay safe, keep our electricity, and find something enjoyable to do during the hunkering down phase. Heading to the kitchen, which I love dearly, ha ha.

Winter showed up wearing its finest

Winter has made its appearance the last few days, dressed up in cold temperatures and a snowy outfit. On Saturday, it was 78 degrees, a new record high. On Monday, five inches of snow fell and stayed through Wednesday. This morning, we woke up to a new dusting of about an inch but it is accompanied by that dreaded ice this go-around. For that reason alone, it's a work from home day, per the directive of my employer. I'm glad to not have to go out in it, I don't mind snow at all. But ice is altogether different. You can't see it in the road until your car is skidding, and even then, you don't really see it. You just know that you hit a patch of it because, well . . . you're car is skidding! Pictures below are from last Monday. And yes, it was as cold as it looks in the pictures. Brrrr. The high today is only 26. 

We are deep diving into that in-between time. The landscape looks like a toilet scrub brush. It's beautiful when it snows, but when it's just cold and gray, it really is not a feast for the eyes. The sunlight this time of year is thin and watery, and just when you think you're going to get that first truly warm day like, say in April, BAM! You get a couple of days of hard freezes. Then comes spring and the bad weather that goes with it. Lord, help limp me along until summer shows up. 

I've been mulling over one particular garden area repeatedly. Still unsure what to do with it. Last year's efforts weren't good for that particular spot. I may go back to what was really successful the year before, but I'd kind of like to try something different again. Problem with planting experiments is that if they don't work out, you're stuck until next year to try something different. Growing seasons have a planting window. If whatever you planted doesn't work out, then the window to try something different has generally closed since there's not enough time to begin another round of growing something.

It's definitely a morning for toast topped with butter, crumbled sausage, colby cheese, and cranberry-pear compote alongside a giant mug of strong coffee. I generally butter the bread, crumble the already cooked vegan sausage over top of that, then put the colby cheddar over all of that. Toast it until the cheese is completely melted and slightly browned, then top it with the compote and eat it all with a fork. I know it sounds odd, but the sweet and savory together is wonderful. I DO heat a big scoop of the compote before I top the toast with it so that it doesn't make my breakfast cold. If I have pancakes or waffles, I also heat my maple syrup. Trust me, it helps a lot! Your breakfast stays nice and warm that way.

Enough about food, this isn't getting my snack made. Our upcoming temperatures look much nicer - cold, but not too terribly cold. Looks like we'll have our normal highs in the 40s for a while and maybe even some sun here and there. It's not "time to go get a Sonic Ocean Water and tater tots" kind of warm, but it's better than 26 degrees for sure! 

Love to you on this very cold day in January. I hope it's beautiful where you are!
 

Never a dull moment

Yesterday, we enjoyed 76 degrees with sun and (heavy) breeze. It lasted for hours on end. We sat outside with family during lunch and enjoyed homemade dill pickle potato salad, cheese, crackers and heavily frosted cupcakes with caramel macchiato coffee. Windows were opened for cross-breezes and you could literally smell the warm combined with earth and sun. We went for a three-mile run on the trail with mountain views while wearing shorts and tank tops. It was a heaven-sent day.

Here comes the reality of December, though. Last night, heavy rain blew in and temperatures began dropping. The picture below tells you that there's never a dull moment around here. I'll leave  you with it, love to you on this second day of the New Year.